That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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