FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize