Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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