we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize