my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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