Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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