Who wears a wallet chain?!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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