Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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