i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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