That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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