id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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