I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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