i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize