He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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