Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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