is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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