I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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