Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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