Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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