he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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