You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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