I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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