I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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