I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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