any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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