I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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