so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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