It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize