Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize