dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize