I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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