Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize