i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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