dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize