The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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