so explain again why im purple
no
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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