when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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