haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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