Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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