Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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