as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize