there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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