meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it's like iHOP with fire
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize