My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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