anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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