Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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