I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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