Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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