its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just found puke in my bra..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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