I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
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